Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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