Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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