I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize