Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
