a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's blow job season.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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