At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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