watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
