am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
