we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
