if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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