before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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