the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
