I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
