What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
