wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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