I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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