i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
