I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
