Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
