I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
