i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
