Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
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Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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