he wants to bone in the snuggie
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dignity is for republicans.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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