Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
