She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
