I need help removing her.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why did my mother make you get naked?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
