I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
