Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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