i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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