Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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