What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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