i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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