i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
