you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
