Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
