so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
