Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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