Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
