hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
