She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize