hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
