I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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