Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
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were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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