I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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