if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
