he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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