____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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