I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
