At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize