He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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