My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
