were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
