This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
