butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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