nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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