Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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