so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
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so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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