i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
