bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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