she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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