id be glad to
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
