he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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