11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
