I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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