we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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