This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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