She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
