How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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