Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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