the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you will always have a special place in my vag
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize