I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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