He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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